Been thinking about singleness.
The thought triggered as I trimmed my hair this evening…
(How come I keep finding myself trimming my hair at 11pm?)
It went like this (and this indeed sounds crazy)
“If I had a ‘special someone’ then they would be able to check the back of my hair
To let me know if I’ve missed a bit.”
You see, there are some bits that you can’t see yourself.
Even with the help of an iPhone camera.
Perhaps the problem itself is that I’m a 35 year old man
who cuts his own hair at 11pm in his bathroom.
My friends, who have it all together, who have this relationships thing sorted out, who are all grown up, don’t do this, do they?
So what do I make of the fact that I am a 35 year old single man?
A well-intentioned friend encouraged me recently that church leaders really ought to be married.
That somehow that step is essential.
I’ve always tried to have a ‘content rather than contempt’ approach to my singleness.
I don’t want to be that ‘desperate single guy’. Arwkard. Difficult. Doesn’t fit.
So why am I single?
I dunno.
Perhaps I am broken
unlovable
difficult
immature
too closed.
Perhaps I missed the class as a teenager
where they told me what to do.
Others just seem to get it.
Perhaps it’s my fault.
Perhaps this is just the will of God.
Perhaps I need to try harder.
In the meantime I continue to be content.
I cling to my contentedness.
And to trust.
And to hope.
And to not worry.
I’m sure the hair at the back isn’t too bad…