I’m with a fantastic bunch of church leaders in Auckland at the third Arrow retreat. And it is Shrove Tuesday.

We take turns to share some of our stories for ten minutes and tonight was my turn.

At one level I feel I have nothing to say
Leadership has not had a terrible toll on me (yet)
I am still in one piece.

God has been remarkably faithful
And for that I am so grateful.

But yet there have been experiences that have shaped me.
Perhaps not big in any scale of life
But they are mine and I own them.

Some have hurt. Some have caused me to doubt myself. Some bring me shame.
God has been present throughout.

And so tonight, as I lie
Tummy full of pancakes and pistachios
Aching feet hanging over the end of this bed
I reflect
And I am grateful
And I dream of what has been
And I dream of what can be
And I long for more.

Please.