Moving up to St Johns at the beginning of this year was a big move.
An intimidating and big move.

And I’m glad that I have done it.
I am glad to be here.
It is a privilege.
I feel that deeply.

But I also feel that I have sacrificed much to be here.

Financially,
a student has a lot less fun than even a church worker.

Socially,
I miss my Wellington friends and colleagues (family) deeply.

Creatively,
there are far fewer opportunities gifted to me.

Spiritually,
I miss the conversations, the risks, the vulnerability.

Pridefully,
I miss being somebody. Anybody.

These sacrifices are a good thing
but they are still sacrifices
and they still hurt.
Sometimes.

And sometimes I just need to acknowledge that.