There are few processes i enjoy less than shifting.
Over the last three years I have lived in three different flats in Karori. Now I'm packing up and moving to my fourth Karori address.
The process of packing brings me in touch with my accumulated stuff. The dressing table that has been with me my whole life. Those things in the middle drawer under my bed that have been there since i moved in, and will probably be there still in another year. Those good intentions that i didn't follow through on. Intentions of new beginnings where i ended up falling flat on my face again. Stuff.
Shifting also forces me to face my failures. Those things i've put off for so long, but now can no longer. Things that have defeated me. Things that mock me. Things that have gotten out of control. The pile of rubbish outside. The overgrown "garden".
Relationships that could have been better.
Things I ought to have said.
Things I ought not to have said.
I'm tired of moving things. Tired of carrying. Tired of cleaning. Tired of walking into another room, just to discover more stuff. Tired of the threat of an angry landlord.
I grieve for and miss my flat already…