Reading, Legging and Reflecting

I notice this morning that I currently have exactly one hundred feeds on my Google Reader listing – one hundred websites, blogs, podcasts and news feeds that I track. An addiction? Possibly. I like to be informed, in the loop, in the know. Now, not all those feeds are active. Some friends have not blogged in a long time. Some feeds are very dry. Some might even be broken. But who knows? Maybe one day there will be something.

Returned from the UK with a sore leg. After my expulsion-of-the-contents-of-my-stomach episode I woke with what felt like a bad bruise in my leg. Didn’t go away (despite prayers) so visited the doctor on Monday. He sent me away for a scan giving me a 50|50 chance of it being deep vein thrombosis. Fortunately it’s not a clot in a deep vein. Unfortunately it is a clot in a superficial vein (which apparently explains why the pain has not gone away). I await the doctor’s advice as to what happens next.

Been reflecting upon my return about the nature of leadership in the church, my call, my personality, my excuses, my failings…

Obviosly I’m speaking in mass generalisations here, but one of the things I love about visiting churches in the UK (and recognise here that ny experience is limited to HTB, New Wine churches or Soul Survivor) is the humility and generosity demonstrated throughout the churches. It becomes apparent in many ways. How are we doing in New Zealand in our humility and generosity? Not as well as we could.

I know that for me, fear is still a big player in the factors that shape me – fear of “getting it wrong”, fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, fear of offending, fear of rejection. A natural response might be to “push back” to boldness. I want to be bold, to be confident. But I want boldness AND humility together.

Morning rant over. Discuss…

2 thoughts on “Reading, Legging and Reflecting

  1. Well we didn’t go to a single Soul Survivor or HTB church while we were in the UK – but I think I know what you mean.The churches we went to, mostly St Pauls but others ranging from small country churches that had a service once every three weeks to big cathedrals all seemed to have sense of who they were, what they were for, generous engagement with their community, and humility about what they were about — much defensive than seems to be the case here.(but then, I’d probably say the same about St Stephen’s Ambridge)

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